How to make friends

Whenever I ride in an elevator I make sure to bring a bottle of Brandy and 2 glasses.  There’s always enough time for a quick drink and some conversation.  Now I know what you’re thinking: “What’s so special about sharing a drink on the elevator?”  Well I’ll tell you, I press the emergency stop button to halt the elevator and then take the time to acquaint myself with whoever is riding at that moment.  This is the only way to ensure you have enough time get to know each other.  Stopping it with only one other person is ideal since I only bring two glasses, it’s embarrassing not having enough for everyone.  The conversation is a little awkward at first, as it is whenever you meet a new person, but everyone always warms up.  If they seem overly bashful or are calling for help, assure them that everything is under control and propose a toast.  I met my best friend Quint this way, and also my arch nemesis Norman.