Ringxiety

Last night while I was in the middle of my third REM cycle I had an out of body experience.  I traveled to the other side of the world at the speed of light.  I went to Tokyo.  It was the middle of the day, people were bustling about the city going to and fro.  The people were so numerous that they looked like the fibers on a fine oriental rug being graced by the invisible touch of a tired man, lying on his rug, squirming on a hot afternoon.

The people could not see me, I was invisible and also tiny.  I was so tiny I could fit into any one of their pockets if I wanted to.  This was my desire.  I entered a small cafe, entered each patron's pocket and shook back and forth violently.  My interferences gave the recipient a feeling of ringxiety every time, without fail.  When they got out their phone and saw that there was neither a call nor a text, it was like the punchline of a hilarious joke intended only for me.

The next time you get a phantom ring you will know exactly where it came from.  This is probably the most common and beloved prank among out of body travelers.  Feel free to laugh along with us moving forward.